The Error of Thinking Too Much

Mumbling crumbling down
never knew the when or how,
never did I breathe, I drowned
swallowed my usurpations
covered my competence.
My life is recompense, that I will never get back

Never amiss in my direction
the inflection in my voice is infectious
I admire the way you loathe my direction
never have I missed a blink, I'm sinking
stinking of cologne and whimpering
asking for forgiveness and sitting
kneeling at your throne
stale, lost, devoured.

Why do I bother, am I bothering you?
I see that your thoughts only want the best for me...
what I think is best for me is the end of me
lasting in a love life, reeking in density
lost in hindsight and testing your questioning
while I question my entity cause enough
never is enough, my drought, dream it out-loud
recognize this when and how, now and in me
how much more do I want is never enough
yet you take care of me, you keep me
deliver me, you clothe and feed me, you feed all three
FOUR ON THE WEEKENDS
I am spent, I want to spend, happiness in bliss no end
but at this end it feels like the end, at each end,
More than a friend, a father, a God, my God Your Power
overwhelms my thoughts to the point of contagion,
my relation to you is that you are my Savior
and I feel ungrateful, filled with disdain and hateful.
cause my plate is half-full...

but I'm alive and trying to leave this guilt behind me
to feel, is tidings to spend more time so I could tie me
to you. But I Feel you, to listen to the voice is more than just a choice, its a blessing of your poise that you help me rejoice.
Oh merciful, that One day I could hang next to you and just talk it up. Why don't I feel I will ever get enough? When it is said that one day you will overfill my cup.